Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Pleasing Everyone and Noone

I am under so much stress at work and I am about to explode. I am routinely going in early (like 6:30 am early), eating through lunch and staying late (regularly til 5:30 or 6, sometimes much later). Despite this, I still feel like I can't get it all done, the work keeps piling in and I feel stressed trying to keep everyone happy. I've recently been privileged to have more responsibility and I feel flat out exhausted trying to manage the expectations of all of several different personalities, all while hoping that I am also meeting the expectations of my actual boss. I feel really good and confident about my decisions, yet I second guess myself in the same breath b/c I worry about how boss or committee chair or whoever is going to react and be unhappy. PHEW!

All of that being said, it should come as no shock that I am feeling exhausted and we're only halfway through week #2 of training! My running has been surprisingly fine but I am struggling to balance WORK, the running side of my life and the "personal" side of my life. Running has become a large part of my life and Matt is completely supportive but I feel bad rolling in after 7pm every night (some nights a bit later). I end up scarfing down some dinner (luckily we meal plan and since Matt works from home, he is great about cooking most nights) and then Matt wants to head out for a long walk (usually 45 min-1 hour) with the dogs. I love the time with Matt and "the girls" but I feel like the day is so FULL...and truly, this work schedule is on par to continue through mid-December, given the expectations and structure of the committees and everything else that's going on. It's not going to get any easier, mileage is going to build, daylight is going to wane...

Luckily I am no stranger to the distances of training right now (and it should be that way until early October) b/c if I had the anxiety of "unknown distance" on top of everything else, I might just be drowning myself in a jar of Nutella (best stuff EVER, btw). I also know that I am going to have to be flexible in my training schedule, if I have to miss one of the shorter runs b/c of obligations, SO BE IT. Respect the long run and make sure to get in all the other runs that I can and listen to my body.

Thanks to anyone who has made it this far. I just feel overwhelmed and needed to get this out.
(Retail therapy at Dick's tonight...after working til nearly 7pm...gear update to come!)

**edited to remove some of the extraneous work stuff**

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya... now more than ever I am also trying to please and work with several different personalities. So many stakeholders!

    Let's have coffee sometime soon, when things start to feel saner for you.